At a very young age we recognized that our son struggled with low self-esteem.  As his parents, we want to protect him from the dangers of the world and see him happy and safe.  But the reality is that one of the most likely crippling factors to his happiness and success is his low confidence.  Right now he is at a critical stage of development where the fiber of who he is is being woven, and we are mindful to give him every boost we can.

When it came time to enroll him for kindergarten this fall, we weighed our decisions.  He is very bright and gaining reading skills quickly. And would likely do well academically in our local elementary school.  Instead, we chose to keep him at his Montessori school.  As an older child in a classroom with ages three through kindergarten, he has daily opportunities to develop leadership skills.  We believe his confidence will benefit from the boost of the younger children’s admiration and his increased responsibilities.  His school incorporates Growing Sound’s songs into their social-emotional curriculum, and we have welcomed several of David Kisor’s songs into our home, as well.

The two collections of songs that we find the most helpful are I Can Do It- Songs of Confidence and Tough Stuff- Songs of Motivation.  These songs were written specifically to boost children’s sense of confidence and self-esteem and worth, and encourage them to keep trying and facing challenges.  These themes reach us where we are each day with our son, and their choruses have become our vernacular.  Phrases like, “keep on working ‘till you figure it out,” “if I put my heart and my mind to it, I can do it” and “Sometimes it takes a few mistakes” are all variations of key lyrics from these collections.

We know that our son’s happiness and self-esteem are not built on single decisions or actions, and songs alone will not prepare him for success in life.  But they’ll help.  All of us.  Our son’s favorite song is “I Can Do It,” and its lyrics encourage us as parents, too.  If we put our hearts and minds to it, we can do this for our son.

It’s Up to Me is from our collection of music that builds confidence in children.

If you were to visit my preschool classroom, you would hear children singing this song several times during the day. We use it as a cue that it is time for us to plan our work and day. The High Scope curriculum that we use encourages children to plan their work, do their work and then review or reflect on what they have done for the day.

We began using this song at the beginning of the school year and I have watched in amazement, as we teachers usually do, how the children have internalized the key message of this song. At the beginning of the year the children started by bebopping to the music and singing the chorus, “What to choose, What to choose, what to choose.” Now that the school year has progressed, they can sing the entire song and constantly reference the key message of the song in their daily activities. 

Recently I overheard this conversation in the library area where two children were deciding on a book to read for story time. The older of the children said, “Well you choose- it’s up to you.”

The younger child stopped and looked at the other child and said, “Like our song we listen to during planning time, ‘What to choose, what to wear, what to be.’ I choose the book for me.”  The little boy was quite delighted with the rhyme he made and very confidently chose a book, brought it to our together time square and announced, “I chose this book because I like dinosaurs and when I grow up I will be one!” 

Research shows that as a child grows in awareness, his developing self-confidence reflects his positive interactions with his environment and his growing trust in both others and himself. These confident children grow up to be adults who make a difference in their communities.

“What to wear, what to wear, what to wear?” 

Self-confidence is a beautiful accessory to any child. My little guy will probably not grow up to be a dinosaur but he already has a belief in his/her own abilities and has the confidence to be whatever he wants to be.

“What to be, what to be, what to be
What could be my dream come true?
To make a choice I think it through
I use my voice, I make my choice
What’s it gonna be? It’s up to me”

-Sharon Boh

Sharon Boh is a certified Montessori pre-primary teacher and a Master Teacher at Children, Inc. She holds a CDA national credential and an Associates Degree in Interdisciplinary Early Childhood Education. Sharon is also a Devereux Local Program Mentor, specializing in building social-emotional resilience in young children. She recently earned her Kentucky Trainer’s Credential from UK’s Training into Practice Project.