Contributed by Sharon Boh
Making friends is an important part of growing up and is a lifelong goal for most people. What can we as parents and teachers do to help children discover the value of having friends? Or assist a child who is struggling to make friends?
Here are some tips to help the little ones in your life develop good interpersonal skills to make friends and to have positive interactions with others:
- Start early to introduce the concept of friends. At age two children take pleasure in dealing with people. Children imitate the actions of others, including siblings. Though your toddler will probably prefer to play alone with toys make sure to expose him to other adults and youngsters.
- Around age three, children begin parallel play. They usually feel good about themselves and start to develop the concept of give and take. Organize a play group in your home with mutual friends or consider a preschool setting to get your child used to being around and working with others. This will also help to establish habits of sharing.
- If your child is hesitant about participating in a group, encourage him. Get your child and bring him into the group and stay there awhile. Your presence will help your child know and understand that these people are ok and that even if someone is new they can still be friendly.
- Invite a friend over to play. Have planned activities for part of the play time like baking cookies or a game. Some structure in your child’s play date is important to guide and direct them as they develop interpersonal skills. Again, be sure to model the correct way to interact with others. If going over to someone else’s house is threatening to a young preschooler, go along to bridge the insecurity gap.
- Young children can be very possessive and unwilling to share toys. Have a talk before a playmate arrives. Ask what special toys the child would rather not share. Put those away. Explain that the remainder will need to be shared.
- Practice common situations that occur when playing, such as taking turns during simple board games or cooperating in building a structure with blocks.
Use these ideas to help your youngsters develop into positive playmates that share and are able to make great friends. People want interaction with others and even children long for friends and support so be sure to model correct behavior and encourage your children as they develop these skills. You can also use songs like Let’s Play from Songs of Confidence to encourage your child to play “something for two!” and make great friends.
